Why the Right People Matter

 Who would you take with you on vacation? Maybe your partner, friend, or family?  Maybe it’ll be your sibling, although you may see them more often so you might want to take a break from that. Well in reality maybe they are the best option compared to taking someone you think you know and then regretting it a day into the vacation. In most instances you make the right choice and end up enjoying your vacation as intended. But what would you do if you didn’t? Would you continue to try and have a good time or would you let it ruin your vacation? I know that a lot of us are uncertain of some people in our lives so we may not risk taking them but sometimes it feels like things might work out. In reality this type of problem creates stress that can turn into paranoia and it can make the relationship you have with the person become one with no trust, and this is no longer considered healthy. Its always great to consider your choices with the people you surround yourself with. Whether its a friend or a potential partner. I know I’ve made mistakes in the past and those mistakes caused me to be insecure and fill with caution about every interaction I had with the person. No matter how much you may feel that theres nothing wrong just asses the situation and person. Always be good to yourself. 

Gaslighting

 To begin with, gaslighting is when someone tries to make someone believe that they are crazy or even feel like they are in the wrong. It can be easy to be a victim of gaslighting, therefore I will go over some of the most common ways people try to gaslight. 

“You got it all wrong”:

When you feel like no matter what you say or do is wrong and someone always tries to prove it. Then most likely you are being the victim of gaslighting. It may not even be the intention but we all know how it feels to have someone that we trust or someone that we like tell us that we are wrong. This is a sign that you should consider to look for and decide whether you really are wrong in your actions or if the person just says you are so that you can fall victim to potential manipulation.

“Am I crazy”

When you begin to feel like your mental health is being questioned by yourself, you should ask why you feel this way. The answer may simply be due to overthinking and that could be normal. But overthinking can also be the result of gaslighting that can lead to you questioning your own sanity. We aren’t perfect creatures but we can understand when we make ourselves overthink and when someone else makes us overthink. So it's always best to make sure that you are thinking for yourself and no one is making you feel crazy.

“But they are nice”

We have to be aware that sometimes it is the people closest to us that have the ability to hurt us and manipulate us. Having people you trust is amazing and the feeling is incomparable but that also leaves a very open window to being manipulated. This is the reason people tend to have trust issues. The way to get rid of the trust issues isn’t to stop trusting everyone. There are healthier ways to deal with that. One that I can think of is to give more time for a relationship/ friendship to be built. Shutting yourself forever won’t be good for anyone, and that can lead to more problems in the future.

Always remember that this isn’t supposed to be one size fits all. It can be helpful to understand some simple cues so that we can be more aware of potential threats. I also do not believe that using this information to diagnose someone or oneself is correct. Please seek mental health support HERE if you feel like you are being a victim of abuse. It is never okay for anyone to mentally abuse another person.

Guns and Violence

 In recent events, there have been several shootings and potential shootings that have kept us thinking about our safety. I believe that due to these events we become extremely aware of any potential threats. These events may have different effects on everyone, so some people may not even be affected. Some however, begin to wonder if we are doing everything in our power to be safe and keep others safe. Or do we just feel scared for a while then forget any potential threats in the future? We need to make sure that we remain vigilant at all times. This for me does not mean being scared and always on your toes. Instead I would consider learning and informing myself of tragic events and the events that led up to it. This way I am able to pick up on any cues that I would have ignored before, I don’t guarantee that it will help anyone specifically. I am just stating what I do and do not intend to convince you to do the same. Everyone has the right to act according to their beliefs.  To learn more about the effects that a mass shooting can have, check out Local 12 for a deeper understanding.